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The Star and the Dark

Published: Sep 23, 2014

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_{"I wander the dark which I have become. Yet it strikes me - if I am the darkness which engulfs me and consumes everything -
... who is this "me" that thinks within it?

What was that? Did I see something?
How could have I? All is naught but darkness. Rebelling, I travel towards that something. Is all truly darkness? I must know.

Ah. Indeed, I was fooling myself yet again. You cannot find anything in the dark. You cannot see a thing here. I lie down, despairing.
There is absolutely nothing here.

And that is when I saw it - I had been walking away from it, yet it followed.
Right behind me, a star, shining. In it's light, I saw parts of myself.
I... am not darkness? How could this be?

I close my eyes. This cannot be. I am the dark. I am nothing. I am only dreaming.
Does the dark, the nothingness, dream?
I am sure this is a cruel jest, this dream of light. Once I open my eyes, it shall be gone.
All will be the same blackness I'm used to.

I open my eyes. There it still shines.
The light in which all is not emptiness. I stare at its beauty, its strength, mesmerized.
Why does it not leave the dark?
I do not understand. What is such a thing doing, in a place so bleak?

...Surely, it does not mean to shine for me?
It cannot. I am not worthy.
"Please, go find someone else. Someone pure and kind."
"I am but the dark. There is nothing for you here." With stabbing pain, I turn away.
I refuse to sully the only piece of Heaven I have seen in a long time.

As I walk away, I notice a shadow in my footsteps. You do not see shadows in the dark - they only exist in the light. Turning, I already know what I will see.
The star. It will not leave me, it seems.

I sit down, frowning and secretly afraid. "Do not say I did not warn you", I growl.
"When all you become is darkness, as I am." Un-offended, there it shines.
Would that I could call it an ignorant fool.. yet, I wonder - why does it persist? Clearly, it shines for me, is here for my sake. There is plenty of nothing all around us, and it has followed my every move through the emptiness. Flattered by its attention, I face my fear -

I look at myself.
In its light, all is not as I have imagined.
I am not dark at all, but a dizzying array of colours, there are so many sides to me, all hidden in the dark.
"How? How could I not see this?" I ask the star. It dances around me, and I see even more of myself. In its dancing light, I realise - I will be seen differently. From different angles, with different eyes.
But I am not nothing, far from it. I am so many things, so many possibilities, unexplored.

Only, I am still in the dark. "You were right, bright one - I am not the dark!"
"I am alive with colour, but how do I escape this place?"
"I have been here a long time, it is a vast space of dreary, never-ending darkness."
"I know not the way out." Realising the truth, I weep.

What is the point of discovering myself, if I am still lost in the dark? Oh, how I wept to have fought and won, only to lose again.
I was better off being the dark! It does not feel pain or longing - it is nothing.

What is this? I feel warmth on me.
Ah. The star. I forgot it was here. And how could have I, for it had changed, now all around me it shined. Suddenly, everything was blinding light and I gasped, amazed! For I saw a person within the light.
If I thought his shine was beautiful, it was only because I had not seen him yet.

He takes my hand and says:
"Long have I followed you, long have I watched over you. For so long, I have tried to tell you the truth, but I cannot tell you what you must learn for yourself."
"The truth is that you are beautiful, and need not escape this place."

"It is not dark here, nor am I a star. I am but a man who loves you with all my heart. To be seen as your shining star is the greatest gift you could ever give me."
"The darkness is your pain, your sorrow. And now that you've let me in, if you want me to, I will protect you from it, embrace you, kiss you... to put it simply, love you. Until you do not see any darkness anymore, but this world full of possibilities and magic that we can explore, hand in hand."

I look around, and see that it is so. I grab a hold of his hand and reply:
"Were it not for you, I would have faded away. I truly believed in the darkness, and that is was my place to reside in. Stay in such a place long enough, and you become it."
"Thank you for waking me from my nightmare. I still feel as if I'm dreaming, yet this time it is a dream so pleasant, I could never imagine it alone in my mind. To give you all that I am, for you have seen what I am, from my darkness, to all this endless colour I had forgotten I had, would bring me joy.
If you will have me, I would like to face this world with you. With eyes open, by your side is where I want to be."

And so they walked, to wherever their hearts took them, always hand in hand, and their souls embracing one another."}

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